Dr. JoAnn Deak, educator and consultant, has written this book to inform parents about the problems they will be confronted with when it comes to raising daughters from ages six to sixteen in a world that is constantly changing. 

Some of the problems discussed are the result of things that happen in our society such as the pressure placed on young girls to stay slim and not gain weight.  Then there are problems with styles.  These young girls have to go along with the styles because "everyone is doing it" and they would be out of place not to join in.  There are several other problems such as the pressure of sexuality among teens and hormonal changes that take place at this age.

Dr. Deak lists three Do's where your daughter can be herself without being a pleaser.  (1) Love, with no strings attached - love your daughter for whom she is. (2) Allow and accept a range of behavior - let your daughter take some risks, make mistakes and practice some challenging behavior. (3) It's how you play the game - Reinforce the value of winning.

The three Don'ts are just as important: (1) Don't see your child as an extension of you - when you start a sentence with "I" you mean just that. (2) Don't set the motivation trap - Using your connection with your child to premeditatedly reinforce pleasing behavior can be very insidious. (3) Don't let your pendulum swing too far - allowing too wide a range of behavior will promote screaming and ordering people about.

This is a very enlightening book for anyone with daughters aged six to sixteen.  Most parents will experience many or all of the problems that Dr. Deak discusses in this book.  She gives the reader many solutions to try and balance the problems.  Dr. Deak gives parents the tools they need to help their daughters turn into confident young women.  The book is very readable.  Do yourself a favor and buy this book!

Nancy Eaton

DO NOT REPRINT WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR, NANCY EATON